I spent Sunday and today judging CDYC's Got Talent at the "church camp" for my region of the Missionary Church. That will mean something to some of you, that might annoy some of you, and some of you might have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm processing through writing.
I listened to 12-18-year-olds sing, play, and preach. I watched a kid do a card trick. I had a great time working with some very talented people to provide feedback to these students in a way that would challenge and affirm and encourage them. When I was one of those students, seven years ago, things were completely different.
Today's teenagers are technically in my generation, but I feel so different from them. They have iPads as part of their education. They don't know a world without cell phones. They don't know what Y2K was. They have unlearned how to have a real, face-to-face conversation without constantly looking at their phones. (I admit that I have struggled to avoid falling entirely into that same pattern.) The ways that we have reached students for the past 10-20 years must evolve and adapt, while challenging them to be mature and disciplined and focused. But that's not really the point here.
When I was a student, I participated in Talent Quest at CDYC. The judging structure was loosely based on ISSMA criteria, the rooms were separated by category, and there were sports going on the whole time. I was judged by people who had known me for years, had taught me music, and who hurt me more than they ever intended or knew.
There was a point system, we competed against ourselves, and everyone got a medal. I never got a gold medal for any of my performances. Six years. At least eight entries. Almost all good performances. No golds. Others from my churches received gold medals. Other performers, whose skill levels were close to mine, received gold medals. I couldn't help but feel as though I was being singled out, judged more critically, kept from affirmation.
I rarely received positive feedback on my forms. I didn't get to read about the things I had done well. I was hurt. I didn't take it as "constructive criticism." I took it personally. Because I was 13-18 and knew I had talent and didn't feel like people saw that in me.
Last year, everything changed.
Instead of the rooms being divided by category, they were divided by church. Sunday and Thursday afternoons were set aside for CDYC's Got Talent. Each church had a time slot. No other mandatory events were scheduled during that time. The judging teams were made up of people with a variety of talents and backgrounds who would be able to critique everything from magic to violin solos. I was asked to be part of that group. It has been such an honor to work with these people.
After so many years of wondering what I had done wrong, wondering what had happened, wishing I could watch myself perform, I get to encourage. I get to tell students that they have potential, and that they should keep singing. I get to thank them for sharing their gifts with us. I get to offer advice on how to improve their performances. I get to smile at them and make eye contact and assure them that they are doing well.
I get to make "compliment sandwiches." I get to practice being gentle and honest. I get to tell the girl in whom I see myself as a freshman that she did a great job. As I talk to her, I tell my younger self that excellent performances take time and effort.
I understand that I might accidentally be crushing these kids, but I have tried to be sensitive to their body language in order to remain positive when it would be easy to criticize. I understand that my judges were doing what they thought was best for me. They were trying to tell me how to take my performances to the next level.
But when no one is interpreting that for a 14-year-old, it stings. For ten years. And it inspired me to be better for the next generation.
I love CDYC. I love that I've gotten to be part of it for so many years. I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to encourage young performers to keep using their talents and worshiping the God who has given them.
