Over the past three years, Dan and I have been wondering what our future would look like regarding a local church. For the past year, we've been pretty confident that we would not be staying at Grabill long term, but had no clear direction on when to leave or where to go. We visited a few congregations, spent several Sundays at Parkview for chapel with my parents, and talked and prayed about what God wanted us to do.
A few weeks ago, during worship team rehearsal, I suddenly felt confident that the end of August was the right time to leave. I was scheduled to be on stage for three weeks in a row, and it made perfect sense to leave after that time.
We told a few people over the next three weeks, but didn't want to make a big deal or scene.
As I stood on stage on Sunday, worshiping with the congregation there, I was given a renewed sense of joy and confidence and freedom regarding our departure.
We do not leave with any bitterness in our hearts. We pray that God would continue to show faithfulness to Grabill Missionary Church.
This is the email we sent on Monday:
A few weeks ago, during worship team rehearsal, I suddenly felt confident that the end of August was the right time to leave. I was scheduled to be on stage for three weeks in a row, and it made perfect sense to leave after that time.
We told a few people over the next three weeks, but didn't want to make a big deal or scene.
As I stood on stage on Sunday, worshiping with the congregation there, I was given a renewed sense of joy and confidence and freedom regarding our departure.
We do not leave with any bitterness in our hearts. We pray that God would continue to show faithfulness to Grabill Missionary Church.
This is the email we sent on Monday:
"To the Staff of Grabill Missionary Church,
We have decided that Sunday August 27 was our last at Grabill Missionary Church.This decision was difficult in some ways, but also very easy. We have been planning to leave GMC for the past two years, and now know that this is the right time.
Our reasons for leaving are numerous, but I (Hope) want to start by saying that we are not leaving because we are hurt or offended by any individual. We do not leave with wounds or scars or bitterness. It's more of a general feeling of discomfort with the culture of GMC, and the understanding that God is leading us away.
I've been part of this congregation for nearly ten years and it's never quite felt like "home." I was 16, a junior in high school, and a pastor's kid. I was awkward and uncomfortable. I didn't know who I was, but I know I've changed. My views and beliefs would be almost unrecognizable to the sixteen-year-old version of me, and I like that. They are more compassionate and gracious than those of my high school years. I like the nuanced views I've developed as I've matured spiritually and intellectually. The problem is, GMC does not feel like a place to have nuanced conversations. I want to be able to speak openly about my thoughts, but experience tells me that to do so would only lead to criticism and judgment and being told that I'm young and worldly.
We are also looking for a more diverse congregation. GMC is very white and family-oriented. This isn't surprising, but it's difficult right now to stay somewhere so homogeneous. If we decide to have kids, we want to raise them in a church culture that is warm and welcoming to every race, color, gender, sexual orientation, marital status, etc. We want all visitors to walk in and see people who look like them, or at the very least, meet people who demonstrate a level of comfort with differences.
There are changes happening in structure and leadership at GMC. These are good things and I pray that God would pour out blessing during these times of difficult transition. But we feel God leading us away from participation in this season. It's time for us to start over together. Our identity at GMC has been tied to my parents and Dan hasn't quite figured out how to be part of the congregation there. We need to find a local church family in which we can be ourselves as a married couple, rather than a former pastor's kid and her husband.
We're excited for the journey that we will be taking over the next weeks and months and years. For the next couple months, we'll be spending our Sunday mornings at the Parkview chapel with my parents. I will be helping lead the music. We will be moving to a new apartment in late October, which will put us farther away and that's when we will begin visiting churches.
The sermon yesterday was exactly what we needed to hear on our last Sunday at GMC. The local church is incredibly important for spiritual growth, and we can't wait to see where God leads us. But we know that to stay at GMC would not be good for us or for the body there.
We are thankful for the love, support, encouragement, prayers, and friendship that we have found during our time at Grabill Missionary Church. I know that my life would be completely different had my dad not been employed there. Our arrival there was an act of obedience, and we leave with the same attitude. God has proven Himself faithful over the past decade, and we trust in His goodness."
My life would have gone in a very different direction if we hadn't started attending GMC. I wouldn't have gone to Bethel, worked at East of Chicago, met Dan, or gotten a job at Brotherhood. I'm thankful for what God did with our time there, and I'm excited to see what He does with the next steps of our journey.
Feel free to ask us (me) questions. They might not get answered to your satisfaction, but you can ask.
