A Fresh Start

How does one start a new blog? After four years of hope. just hope., I have decided that it's time to move on. I'm starting a new phase of life. I'm not as busy as I was when I started that blog. I was never as busy as I was when I started that blog.

Here I am, a college graduate. It's been almost three months since I walked across the stage, received my diploma, turned my tassel, and left campus.

I'm a week away from finishing my summer internship with the youth group at Grabill Missionary Church, and I am not ready.

I preached last night, the final sermon in our summer series. Our theme for the summer was "Called and Equipped," using 2 Timothy 1:7 as our theme verse.

Here's what I said to a large group of students aged 13-18. It describes what I'm feeling right now, what I'm afraid of, and what God is teaching me through this. I know it's a lot of words, and I apologize for any typos. I preach from a manuscript, and this is it. Welcome to my post-undergrad world.

It’s our last night together. Okay, so we’re having a party on Tuesday, and we have Sunday School, and I actually do still live here. But it’s our last Wednesday night of youth group, and it’s my job to finish up our series. I’ve been thinking about this sermon since May, when we assigned weeks and topics.

When we first started working, more than two months ago, we spent the first few days talking about our theme. We chose 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” We decided that we were going to help you, and ourselves, understand that we are called by God to do good works, and that He has equipped us with so much in order to answer that call.

Alec talked about our call to holiness. We are called to be set apart for God. We are called to a higher standard, to relentlessly pursue righteousness.

Luke talked about our call to share the Gospel. He spoke about how God is seeking us, that He desires for us to know Him and to be close to Him, and that heaven rejoices over the lost who are found.

And last week Taryn talked about the importance of helping others see Truth. She challenged us to get out of our comfort zone, to bring our friends out of the cave and into the light.

These are callings that can be so incredibly intimidating. These are the callings that are for all believers, for everyone who wants to live a Godly life. As we seek to answer these callings, we might feel inadequate and wonder how in the world we can do these things. Well, that’s what I’m here to talk about.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says “All Scripture is breathed out by God, and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”

That phrase “man of God” relates back to an Old Testament expression that refers to one whose commission is from God. It was used in 1 Kings 13 to describe a man who predicted the birth of Josiah and spoke against the idolatry of King Jeroboam. It’s used to describe other prophets and carries this sense of “minister” or “messenger of God.”

The word for “equipped” here is exertismenos. It’s translated in other versions as “thoroughly equipped,” “complete,” “adequate.” It comes from a word that means “completely furnished.”

So what Paul is saying here seems to be that the one who is called to be a minister of God, a messenger who shares the Gospel has everything that he or she needs in Scripture. That’s just so cool. And that is what we all have. Scripture is available to us. A Holy Spirit-guided study of this book, allowing the text and the God who breathed it out to change your heart will prepare you to share it with others.

Believers are given the Holy Spirit as a guide, a counselor, a helper. In John 14:25-26 Jesus is talking to the Eleven (Judas had already left) and says “These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” The Spirit helps us, dwells in us, intercedes for us. That’s just so cool.

And we have each other, which I think is the resource that we forget about. We have the body of Christ. We have an opportunity, not just an opportunity; we have a responsibility to encourage each other, challenge each other, support each other, keep each other accountable, learn from each other, and provide good quality Christian friendship and fellowship. And let me tell you, you need that more than you know. This summer I have been forced to spend time with people. I don’t usually choose that, so having this job has been a stretching experience for me. And it has been amazing to hang out with you and have conversations about life and God and next steps. I have loved having a social life with Christian brothers and sisters. And some of you just got back from ten days of constant fellowship. You know what I’m talking about.

But, welcome to the end of summer. Welcome back to reality. School starts soon, with early mornings and homework and sports and rehearsals and everything else that goes along with summer being over. There are endless opportunities for distraction. For me, though, things are a little bit different. I graduated from college in May. I don’t get to go back to school. That’s right. I said “I don’t GET to go back.” You see, I’m at something of a crisis point in my life. And I have to tell you all of this because it’s not fair for me to stand up here and preach at you about all of the ways God has equipped you for your life if I don’t admit that I struggle with the same things. I need you to understand that everything I’m saying to you tonight is like a personal pep talk for me, too. I need these lessons. I need these reminders. And I’m sure that I’m not the only one.

Let me talk to you about what it feels like to be me right now. I get asked at least once a week what I’m going to do after the summer.

I make a face like this (make face) and say “I don’t know.”
“Well, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“What was your degree in?”
“Liberal Studies, with concentrations in Literature, Music, and Psychology.”
“Oh, so what can you do with that?”
“Exactly. Or, as my mom puts it ‘everything and nothing.’”

Then they remind me to keep pursuing God’s will and that He’ll reveal it to me in His timing.

You know what? That doesn’t help. I wish it did, but I am just not naturally that patient. I usually leave these conversations feeling even worse about myself, because not only do I not have a plan for my future, I’m not being a good enough Christian. I know that that is ridiculous and that I have no reason to think this way. But it seems so much easier to feel worthless than to try to convince myself otherwise.

I face my own insecurity every day. I have to constantly remind myself that I am not worthless. I have to constantly remind myself that God created me in His own image, that He loves me, that He sees me, that He cares about my future, that He will guide my steps, that He will heal my heart, and that He is bigger than my problems. Most importantly, I have to remind myself that He has given me so much that I can offer back to Him. I have to remind myself of Truth. Because it doesn’t matter how I feel. The power of God is not determined by our fickle, changeable emotions. And He has equipped me, He has equipped each of us, with so much more than we can see or choose to see.

I have been wondering since May what I would say to you tonight about how each of you is uniquely equipped to answer God’s unique call on your life. I thought about discussing spiritual gifts, and reminding you of your talents. But I’m not sure that would help, because I’m sure that you’ve heard all of that before. I know I have. People have probably tried to teach you that you are worth so much more than you feel. And what’s your response? “No, not me. That’s for someone else. I’m stupid, I’m a loser, I’m a failure, I’m not useful for anything.” Right? It’s so hard to see our own worth. We want to avoid being self-centered and arrogant, but we so often end up thinking that we’re the lowest of the low.

That’s not okay. There’s a difference between humility and an inferiority complex. There’s a difference between not knowing what God has equipped you with and thinking that you’re not equipped at all. I’ve been on both sides. It’s easier, I think, to feel like we’re not equipped at all. I’ve been wrestling with this all summer. As I try to figure out how to best serve you guys and love you guys and talk to you and listen to you and plan events and work with the rest of the youth staff. I have questioned whether I should even be here, all the while knowing that this is where God called me to be this summer. Taking all of this from head knowledge to heart knowledge, from knowing it to actually believing it, that’s something I can’t do on my own. I hope you can relate to this.

Here’s my bold statement for this closing sermon: we are equipped with the struggle to figure out what we’re equipped with. We have a God who is mysterious and secretive and so much bigger than we can imagine. He knit us together. He made us carefully and knows exactly what He made us able to do. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He wants to lead us and show us His desires for our lives.

I think that a lot of the time we feel like we shouldn’t struggle with this question of how God has equipped us. We think we should have it all figured out and should be ready to do anything that He has called us to. But did you know that Jesus asked his Father to change His plans? Jesus struggled with what the Father was asking him to do. In Matthew 26 and Luke 22, Jesus is praying in the garden and says (in Luke), “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” Jesus made it okay for us to be weak. He made it okay for us to wonder whether we are ready for our calling. But He also modeled the correct response. He submitted to God’s will. He drew closer to God in the midst of this trial.

I won’t speak for God’s motives in hiding Himself and His plan for us, but I am willing to say that each struggle, each question, each frustration, each fear is an opportunity for us to talk to God. “Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.” Let Him love you. Let His perfect love cast out your fears. Stop thinking that you know yourself better than anyone else does. Stop acting like you aren’t called to anything. Stop believing that you are worthless, talentless, and inadequate. Because that's just not true. Let God show you that He has created you with purpose, that He has called you to follow Him, that He has equipped you with everything that you need. He has given you Himself, and that is the best equipment that you could ever want.

Let’s look at that verse again, because there’s a phrase that’s implied, but that we forget about:

“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but [and this is what’s missing, ‘God has given us a spirit] of power, love, and self-discipline.”

We have it. We don't have to search for it. You are called by God to do good works. And you ARE equipped. Believe it.